A day with Jana:

Yesterday I spent the better part of the day with Jana, picking her up at the halfway house about 11:00a.m.. There was to be no filming, or photographing, this time around. It was simply a day to spend together – talking.

Eventually we ended up here – at the house, having tea and talking more about her plans and her past. She lit up when telling me that her mother, and two daughters, were coming up to spend Christmas Eve with her.

From the very beginning, of my relationship with Jana, I thought that her greatest difficulty was addiction – primarily to Crack. After much conversation she told me that it was really violence that was the recurring factor in her life.

Enroute back to the halfway house I greed to take Jana to pick up her clothes, from the house of an acquaintance. As we drove down Gallatin Road, the rain pelting off the windshield, in between passes of the wipers, the road was difficult to navigate with the streams of glaring headlights piercing through the darkened night, and being refracted through the thousands of water droplets as they spattered. Traffic was heavy because of Christmas shoppers and party goers.

As we slowly drove along Jana would, periodically, point out an old apartment where she had lived, or someone that she had known. As we approached one side street, off to our right, Jana pointed it, saying that that was the road where she shot and killed the man, in self-defense. She continued on, almost as a narrative, describing to me the events of that night after she shot him: how she picked up anything that may have let police know that drugs were present in the house, and how and where she drove. We were, in fact, driving in the same direction, on the very same road, as she did that night.

Forty-five minutes later I was dropping Jana at the front door of the halfway house, saying goodnight through the opened door, while Jana stood inside, reaching forward – with only my arm, grasping the door handle and pulling it closed.

Jana Released:

Yesterday morning I received a call from Jana. She was being released from jail, as we spoke on the phone, and asked if I could transport her to the halfway house. This was an answered prayer, for sure. One of my concerns, since I learned of her parole, was being able to photograph her as she arrived at the halfway house. This also gave me the opportunity to meet, and briefly talk with, Karen Van Camp, the Executive Director of the halfway house, called Re-Entry.

After greeting Jana, on the front porch of the house, Karen invited me to come in. As I stepped through the front door I was taken back by the comfort and warmness of the dwelling. Refinished hardwood floors, three large sofas, and two large leather armchairs. I was also introduced to two of the women who also reside there, one of whom is the house mother. For the next hour we sat and talked, as a group. For the most part Karen and Jana did the talking, while the remaining three of us listened. This also gave me an opportunity to begin making photographs – more to get others comfortable with me and the cameras.

I still need to spend time talking with Karen, to solidify how best to work within their environment. My goal is to follow Jana through her time at Re-Entry and then back into society, as they say, and reunited with her two daughters – something that occupies most of her thoughts.

I will also begin filming the second phase of Jana’s story, as soon as possible, which I am overwhelmed at having such an opportunity. I truly feel that this will be a piece that will do a great deal of good.

Until next time….

Paroled:

As of yesterday, Jana Edenfield was paroled. Her release from jail, into a halfway house, is said to be by Monday. I spent several hours with Jana, this morning, talking about the next phase of her life, her rehabilitation, and her plans for the immediate future.

I have also been granted permission to follow Jana through her time at the halfway house – probably six months in all, and then I would like to follow her back into full society, including a complete reunion with her two daughters.

In my previous post I talked briefly about my last conversation with Jana, and her story of being a crack addict. Today Jana agreed to tell me her entire story, from beginning to its current end. From what I have her from her, thus far, I have no doubt that it will be one of the greatest stories I have ever had the privilege to tell, and one that everyone needs to hear.

I find myself in awe at the courage of Jana, and Robert Bogus, and Allan Miles, for telling their stories – in great detail. This has humbled me, as I don’t think that I could do the same thing if I were in their shoes. Their reason for doing it is unanimous; they want to make a difference – they want to help someone else from making the same mistakes that they did.

For myself, I am as grateful as I could be, for having the opportunity to tell it.

Until next time…..

The Parole Hearing:

Tomorrow morning, Jana appears before the parole board in hopes of getting an early release. she has been accepted into a halfway house, called the Magdalene House, which offers a two year rehabilitation program.

I sat with Jana, for two hours this morning, talking with no cameras or recording devices. We simply sat and talked – mostly with me listening – intently. She told me about her life as an addict – a crack addict. Not a day goes by that most of us do not hear something about crack, beit in the news or as part of a television program. I can tell you, first hand, that nothing compares to hearing it from someone who has lived it – from someone who is willing to go deep within the recesses of their own demons, to tell it first hand and blow by miserable blow.

As much as I have seen the horrors of the world – and of life – I don’t know that I have seen anything that is equal, in its horror, to what I listened to today. Once again I have grown in my scope as a human being.

Whether Jana is paroled, or not, I will follow her journey as part of this documentary. From her, all of us can learn.

Until next time….

The Editing Begins:

I began editing, the Robert Bogus piece, two days ago when I returned from interviewing Jana. That piece was put to rest this morning and now I have begun work on Jana’s interview.

The Bogus piece was a great place to begin the editing process. It was also great practice in taking 90 minutes of material and condensing it down to eight minutes. Nearly everything Robert talked about was relevant and powerful. With Jana’s interview I can see, already, that I will be faced with a similar daunting task.

Someone asked me, the other day, about whether or not I do my own editing. My reply was: most definitely. I equate it with the darkroom in the relationship to me as a photographer. I couldn’t imagine having anyone else print my images. Sure there were times – especially in the color realm, or when deadlines were prohibitive. But as much as I could, I would do the printing.

And as I experienced in the photographic darkroom, I am experiencing the same here – and that is the emotional connection. For me, the final product – be it still image or video, should be a melding of the subject’s emotions and the photographer’s emotions. Herein lies the true power. Images are only images without it.

Coming directly off of the Bogus piece and then directly into Jana’s piece, [with a short hiatus at my friend Bob's recording studio - listening to the CD he wrote and produced of "Trucker Songs"], my emotional state is buzzing and intense. Had it not been for the hiatus, I truly would have overloaded, and that is an incredible place to be. It is better, and far more intense and fulfilling than any drug and it is always with me – always accessible.

Until next time….

Jana Interview_Followup:

I was certainly correct, in my assumption that it would be a good interview. The room itself was frocked with logistical problems, as it was a primary thruway for officers transporting offenders to visits with attorneys and such. They were all gracious and did their best to keep the disturbance to a minimum. I am hoping that it will have added to the overall affect of the piece – like the lines and scratches on a piece of fine leather.

Jana arrived about 30 minutes late, which gave me time to double check things and settle a bit more into the role of interviewer. The room lights were turned off, except for a smattering of several, fluorescent lighted rectangles in the ceiling, that remained on 24/7 like a generator light. A bit of natural light spilled in through the three large windows, to my left, but the primary light was from a softbox that I had positioned just a few feet from Jana and directly beside me. The quality of light set a mood that was calming and soothing – and odd sensation, and stark contrast, to all that was going on in the rooms and pods around us.

We began the interview with the question of why she was incarcerated…. this time and allowed it to evolve from there. Early on, in the interview, Jana began referring to, then reading, several of th poems and stories that she has written while riding out this sentence.

“I just started writing about a month ago”, she told me. “I never thought that I could, or that I would be any good at it.”

Her written words have already had a positive affect on some of the inmates in her pod – “O” pod – the working pod. “I want to help people learn from my mistakes, and that’s why I write”, she added.

The interview lasted almost an hour, but the conversation continued on for another hour after the camera had been shut off. Then Jana was off to tutor down in Program Hall – something she does a lot of. According to the guards Jana is a model offender, never causing problems and keeping a good head. “I’m done this time”, she told me. “I’m not coning back here again.” This is something that nearly every offender says, but most fail. “I’m hard headed”, she continued, “but when I finally learn something, I really learn it – and I have finally learned this one.”

Jana comes up for parole, next Tuesday morning. She isn’t overly confident that the Board will grant it, “because of my history”, she says, but she remains hopeful. “If they don’t…. then I will ride out my sentence and then I will be completely done – no probation, no halfway house.” But that concerns her because, as she put it: “I think I need the structure when I first get out.”

If I am able to be at her parole hearing, I will be, depending on the birth of my first granddaughter. Either way, I will follow her journey.

Until next time….

Interview With Jana:

I am inside the Davidson County Jail waiting for Jana to arrive. She will be the first of the female offenders that I will work with. This morning I have been given the Female Visitation Room to set up and conduct the interview. It is, by far, the largest room that I have been given to work in.

The outside wall has three large windows, each about four feet square, with no bars or fencing. Outside it is a bit dreary, because of the on again, off again, rain, but the sky is somewhat bright – at least compared to being in here.

She is scheduled to arrive in about four minutes and everything is in place. As I mentioned, in a previous post, I am looking forward to this interview – as the dynamics, at least I think, will be different.

I will let you know…..

Forging Ahead:

Tomorrow morning I will film my first interview with a woman offender. Originally I had thought that I would wait until I finished with the men’s section but, that was clearly not to be. This became quite evident while I was filming the women in the artist program, which was the subject of my last post.

Without hesitation I became thrilled at the change. As I have been preparing for it, I have realized the benefits. My reason, for not wanting to work on both together, was because I felt it would create a conflict – internally – with how I approached he interviews. Instead it is giving me a great contrast that is adding to my perception.

I have also decided to spend the day, today, editing the piece on Robert Bogus. For the past two hours I have been listening to the interview, without the video footage. It has been incredibly insightful. I have decided to edit his interview with photographs instead of the video footage, which will be the first that I’ve used this technique on, from this project.

Until tomorrow……

My First Day With a Woman:

Less than one hour ago I finished my first filming session with a woman offender – actually two: Tracy and Jana. They were participating in the annual Sheriff’s Christmas Card Competition. Unlike the men’s group, only two women were involved. In fact, it is my understanding that, before today, there was only one.
Even though I have not believed in coincidences since I was a very young boy, I am still delighted – even a bit amused, when such seeming circumstances present themselves. Today’s experience was no different.

Just as I had a “chance” meeting in the kitchen, with Robert Bogus, which led to two incredible interviews and a look at his writings and some incredible insights, today I met Jana. Even though I was there to film the creation of artwork, it quickly became clear that there was far more to my mission than that.

In addition to not believing in coincidences, I have also come to realize, over the years, that when a situation presents itself, trying to avoid it, or steer away from it, is absolutely futile. Realizing what was about to happen, I simply allowed it to unfold as it needed to. The result was phenomenal – again.

Just as my encounter, and subsequent allowing, provided a treasure with Robert Bogus, and Allan Miles, this encounter with Jana added even more. It also fit in perfectly, with a project that I have been considering, with regard to Robert.
I have already begun making arrangements to interview Jana, next week, even though I was not planning to begin with the women until after I finished with the men. Perhaps I need to re-think this as well.

As with Robert, Jana is a prolific writer: spawned, at least in large part, by her most recent incarceration. What she writes is incredible, raw, and real to life. My interview with her will explore this writing and her goals for using it to help others.

As I pause, to reflect back at the early stages of this project, I am once again comforted at my allowing from the beginning. One of my initial posts, when eluding to this project, was my intent to refrain from scripting it. I trusted that it was a project that needed to unfold on its own terms – and it continually proves me right. And with each unfolding I am astounded and in awe – as I am right now.

I am beyond blessed.

Until next time…..

Plugging Along:

I have spent most of the week recharging my batteries, as it were. After such an experience, from spending several hours in the jail, over the course of a week, I am even more in awe of the people who work within these confines day after day. The emotional and physical drain is astounding.

I remember early on in this project, Bruce Helms, the program supervisor, told me about the “burnout rate” and how it is important that counselors take time off – time away, in order to keep their sanity and their health.

I had no doubts about his comments, but I can assure you that – what ever amount of time they are able take, and whatever they are paid to do their jobs, it is not enough. This experience has also shown me that they do this work because they believe in it – because they want to make a difference. In my eyes, each of these people, who work within these programs, are heroes.

In a little over an hour I will head back, into the Davidson County Jail, to continue with this project. Today I will continue filming the artist program for the men, as well as begin filming the artist program for the women. There is still much filming to be done, overall, although the story is coming together nicely. For the past two days I have been reviewing the photographs and video footage that has been shot so far. Unanimously the stories are profound – each having its own strength, yet with common threads in their content. This weekend I will begin the initial editing process.

Until next time…..