A day with Jana:

Yesterday I spent the better part of the day with Jana, picking her up at the halfway house about 11:00a.m.. There was to be no filming, or photographing, this time around. It was simply a day to spend together – talking.

Eventually we ended up here – at the house, having tea and talking more about her plans and her past. She lit up when telling me that her mother, and two daughters, were coming up to spend Christmas Eve with her.

From the very beginning, of my relationship with Jana, I thought that her greatest difficulty was addiction – primarily to Crack. After much conversation she told me that it was really violence that was the recurring factor in her life.

Enroute back to the halfway house I greed to take Jana to pick up her clothes, from the house of an acquaintance. As we drove down Gallatin Road, the rain pelting off the windshield, in between passes of the wipers, the road was difficult to navigate with the streams of glaring headlights piercing through the darkened night, and being refracted through the thousands of water droplets as they spattered. Traffic was heavy because of Christmas shoppers and party goers.

As we slowly drove along Jana would, periodically, point out an old apartment where she had lived, or someone that she had known. As we approached one side street, off to our right, Jana pointed it, saying that that was the road where she shot and killed the man, in self-defense. She continued on, almost as a narrative, describing to me the events of that night after she shot him: how she picked up anything that may have let police know that drugs were present in the house, and how and where she drove. We were, in fact, driving in the same direction, on the very same road, as she did that night.

Forty-five minutes later I was dropping Jana at the front door of the halfway house, saying goodnight through the opened door, while Jana stood inside, reaching forward – with only my arm, grasping the door handle and pulling it closed.